The man as the head (Part 2).

(All bible texts are from the KJV unless otherwise stated)

In our last discussion, we considered the family as a team made up of a husband and a wife with or without kids. We moved on to define what it meant to say that the man was the head of the family, spelling out roles which included the man as the spiritual head of the family and also the fact that the man was the source of identity for the family. We then concluded with the fact that the primary tool a man had in giving the desired identity to his wife was his words and the fact that it was not right for a man to utter corrupt words especially in reference to his wife. (For more information please read; The man as the head Part 1).Today, we will conclude our discussion by considering other roles of a man as the head of the family.

As we said earlier, it is a duty of a man to give identity to his family. In line with this, the first responsibility of a man to his children is to give them an identity. Society in most cases respects this by giving the man the opportunity to name the child. However, beyond this, the Christian father gives an identity to a child by training and disciplining and guiding the children (Pr 1:8, 4:1-2, 4:11, 3:12, 1Th 2:11, Eph 6:4). These activities are undertaken to give the child the right mindset that distinguishes him or her and gives him or her excellence (Pr. 1:9).

In training the child, the father must be able to guide the child into adopting attitudes that identifies him with the Christian body and differentiates him from other kids that are not instructed in the Lord. The husband and wife must synergistically work together; putting in place spiritual, psychological, emotional and physical strategies to train the child in the way he should go so that when he grows up he will not depart from it (Pr 22:6). The parents must take keen interest in monitoring the content of the media the children are exposed to and must regulate it if possible. This might be unpleasant to the child in some cases, however, for the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it (Heb 12:11, RSV).

Among all things that should be taught a child, obedience and honour to parents (Eph 6:2-3) as well as a deep personal relationship with God (Psalm 78:5-7) are paramount. The child must also be guided to choose and aquire the necessary skills needed for life on earth. Love, patience and trust in the care and transformational powers of God are cardinal virtues that parents must live by to raise God fearing and loving children. The topic of training children will be discussed into details later in a later article (to be automatically updated enter email address and click “follow” on the right hand side of the site).

For a man to be successful as a wonderful husband and great dad; sharing, nurturing and attracting love should be the foundation of every word and action undertaken by the man in the family in relation to his wife or children (Eph. 5:23, Pr 3:12). Additionally, the man must honour his wife (1Pe 3:7, 1Co 7:4). The man must show visible adoration in reasonable forms before the kids, friends, coworkers and strangers as well as conduct himself with dignity towards his children (Eph 6:4). More importantly, the man must win the love of both his wife and children. It is unwise for a man to accumulate the love of strangers and outsiders but spurn the love of those who are close and matter most. For the sake of love and the integrity and sanctity of manhood in Christ Jesus, a man must not destroy his house by adultery usually called affairs. For whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul (Pr 6:32).

In conclusion, for a man to be successful as the head of the family, he must first develop a deep relationship with God on behalf of himself and the family, must build an outstanding identity for his family and adopt love as the foundation of all interactions with his family.

Our next discussion will be on the wife as the heart of the family.  All the best of the day, and please to remember to leave your comments.

The Extraordinary Gentleman

The Extraordinary Gentleman.

The man as the head (Part 1)

The family like every team must be led by a person who both represents the family outside and bears the most risk when it comes to decision making. As such, the leader must be ready at all times to bear responsibility for all actions taken by the family. To avoid the trouble of having to decide who serves this noble task in a Christian family, the bible the bible states clearly that a man is the head of the family (Eph 5:23).

Many societies have in their own way decided to establish what it means to be the head of the family. Though many societies in recent times have moderated to a large extent a man’s opportunity to display authority in the family through many indirect ways, some societies sometimes still carry ancient dictatorial notions of men as the head of the family. None of these to me is right, what is right is what the bible says.

In my readings through the bible I have come across certain insights that I will like to share with you. And I believe that you will scrutinize this carefully and contribute to make this subject clearer and more practical.

I believe that the man’s first duty in marriage is to be the spiritual head of the family in biblical terms the high priest of the family. He must have so close a relationship with God and frequent in-depth sessions with Him about his family enough for God to grant him exact spiritual knowledge and wisdom concerning his family. For example the father must be informed when any of his children is in spiritual or physical disorder or danger by the communication from God through His Spirit. The married man, like a captain of the ship, must have a place in God all to himself where he steers the ship (family) on the stormy seas of life. The father must therefore steer the family from his secret place. The secret place refers to the man’s personal prayer time on the family.  It is through these sessions of prayer that God reveals the current state and his vision for the family to the man. The first ministry of a married man therefore is his marriage; this explains why the test for the ability of a married man to cater for the church of God is his ability to manage his family (1Timothy 3:5).

Secondly, the husband is a source of identity of the family. A major duty given to the first man by God in relation to a family of living things was to supply identity (Gen 2:19) and the very first duty performed by the first man in the first marriage is that of giving an identity to his wife (Gen 2:23). It is interesting to note however, that what man called the animals, or birds or even his wife was his sole prerogative and yet whatsoever he called them, that was their name (Gen 2:20). What an authority! The reason why God could trust man with this duty without fear of failure was that man was perfect in knowledge through his uncorrupted nature and close relationship with God. As such, the husband must be “well saved” and in consistent communion with God.

The major tool that the God has given a man for supplying the identity of the family is the word of his mouth. Just like Jesus Christ who prepares, cleanses and gives an image of beauty to his bride (the church) by his word (Eph. 5:26), the words of a man to his wife must be words that build her into the desired image. This was practically covered by Pastor Mensah Otabil in his message, “Marriage 101”. In his explanation, he said that a man a supplies seed and a woman nourishes and multiplies it to form a child. In the same way, whenever a man speaks a word, the woman receives and ponders over it. In due season, she presents the result back to the man in full measure, pressed down and running over. This he said, is the reason why women react to sweet or bitter words from a man latter on in time by giving him a sweeter or a more bitter experience.

Therefore as a husband, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification (building up), that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Eph 4:29, NKJV).

In our next discussion we will complete our discussion of a man as the head of the family. We will the then move on to discuss the position of the woman in the family

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Overview of Christian Marriage

Hello, it is wonderful to have you on our blog and we are truly blessed to have you. Today, I will like to kick start our discussion of the many topics that can be considered under marriage with what I will call a general view of marriage.

I will like us to consider marriage in simple terms is a negotiated union between a man and a woman to be recognized as a family within the principles of the bible, witnessed by a Christian community and giving the individuals the right to sexual intimacy that may or may not lead to the birth and raising of children. Marriage therefore ultimately leads to the creation of a family consisting of a husband and  wife with or without children.

Marriage is a sacred institution that is ordained by God (Gen 2:18-24) as a union between man and woman and must be treated as such. I therefore believe that though many laws have been established by nations to regulate marriage and the family life, Christian’s homes must be governed by virtues of Christendom in their marriage lives. This however, is not an encouragement to avoid or disrespect requirements for recognition of marriages under the various laws of the land.

Marriage as an institution is one that should be thoroughly prepared for. once you are in getting out especially as a christian is another story. To equip us for this all important stage of the life of most men, posts in this category will carry information on how to prepare for, enter and sustain a relationship. In the case of the unimaginable, we will also present issues on divorce all in a wonderful bible based perspective. Remember to be our guest.

Welcome

Society has always been the kingdom of the man until recently when the subject of womanhood has become important so much that a lot of resource in form of money and time through research, advocacy and support has been dedicated to women. These efforts are in place so as to eliminate the disadvantaged position that many women found themselves in which is usually blamed on men. These actions are great initiatives in their stated motive. However, the diversity of those pursuing this noble agenda has introduced different motives that in some sense is either making women into men or making them into versions of women that seem to be a the likeness of the very things they despise.

In spite of these shortcomings, these initiatives seem to have developed some of our counterparts, the women, into vibrant contributors to society and homes that has changed the whole structure of homes, workplaces, religion, politics and other fields of worthy endeavor. With the advancement in technology and liberation of educational systems, strength is continuously going out of fashion and knowledge has become paramount. Notably, for the home where men’s regular duty was to produce, provide and protect, women in our days have the ability to produce, provide for and protect a family single handedly!

Additionally, Manhood, which in its very essence is immutable in its prestige and honour has been questioned by the increased misconceptions of its nature by men, women and society at large. These misconceptions have led to actions and inaction on all sides concerned which has tainted the very beauty that nature had intended for Manhood. For example, many negative images of unfaithfulness, irresponsibility, violence, rape and other social vices have successfully come to be associated with manhood. Manhood has therefore lost the prestigious associations that it once had. Examples of which include, strength, wisdom, responsibility and industry. This is just not acceptable.

In simple terms, manhood is not the problem, but the conception held of its nature and art is. It is therefore important that manhood does not become the next victim of extinction that has severely affected the balance of the earth. We do not want great dads and wonderful husbands to become extinct, neither do we want to see the extinction of responsible male corporate executives nor the extinction of male ministers of genuine integrity. Our mission is a rescue mission; to provide a solution to the ignored state of manhood. This solution is not a vindictive defense of manhood, but the promotion of this eminence in  its complete and elevated form- The Extraordinary Gentleman.