The Fear of Failure and the Freedom to Fail

For men, especially men that have the instinct of pursuing excellence at all they do, the fear of failure is an age old disease. Being an Extraordinary Gentleman is about pursuing excellence in all circles of life and these can be grouped into Marriage, Ministry and Money i.e the 3Ms of manhood. And since excellence is a premium, the fear of failure is sure to be one thing that might plague our minds.
As Dan Benson wrote in his book the “ The Total Man; The Way To Confidence And Fulfillment” ( which is the main motivation for this article). The fear that men entertain include

Not providing for my wife and kids
Either losing my job, or not attaining promotion or salary raise
Not getting married
Not reaching my goals in life
Seeing all I have worked for collapse in my face
Being a failure at business or sex

One interesting reply in the book was this “failure to me is losing. I think it was Vince Lombardi who said, ‘Winning isn’t everything- it is the only thing’. I belief that. I don’t want to be a loser.”
Personally, I believe that some of us reading this articles might begin to feel uncomfortable by now as our own fears race across our minds, in fact many of us will do anything not to be reminded of the very existence of failure.
Well the picture that almost paints why many fear failure is painted by Eric Hoffer in his statement,
“there is no loneliness greater than the loneliness of a failure. The failure is a stranger in his own house”
However, I will side more with the comfort in his other statement
“There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail” -by Eric Hoffer.

What am I driving at? Well to cut matters short, the fear of failure I believe, leads to either hesitation or haste. Many are hesitant to act because they are afraid of going wrong and then carrying the “failure” tag. Others hurriedly rush through life pursuing their definition of success in order to flee failure. No matter what your situation is, fear is not the portion of an Extraordinary Gentleman
“For God did not give us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power and love and self-control”
(2 Timothy 1:7).

Therefore as Extraordinary Gentlemen, we shall not hesitate under the spirit of fear, saying like the lazy man, “There is a lion outside! I shall be slain in the streets!” (Proverbs 22:13, 26:13).
But we shall be confident in all we do, not driven by the spirit of fear, but inspired by the Spirit of sonship and adoption (Romans 8: 15), that says,
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)
For even failure has in it the reward of instruction for the wise.

I hope to dwell more on this subject in subsequent articles, for a mean time, I will like you to leave your comments and contributions on the article. You can even share experiences with us! Additionally, we encourage you to put in requests for articles on topics you will like to know more about, we will be glad to be a channel of God to you. God bless you.


Ladies are obsessed with consistency!

If there is one cry common to ladies, then it is this one, “he has changed”… and a few sobs. And if there is any common response then it might be “I don’t even know what she is talking about, that I have changed”. I am no expert at love or its associate studies, but a few decades of experience in the art of life I believe has given me the opportunity to make a comment on the subject under discussion.

Firstly a complete gathering of men has the tendency of being equal to a collection of boys especially when money or God is not the topic under discussion. Ladies introduce a difference and when one lady becomes dominant in our lives especially under the condition of love, then we are or feel the pressure to be the Man.
To win the heart of the woman of our dreams we go to many lengths to win them and exhibitionism is not out of the range, yet when the woman is won the next tendency is to “concentrate or more important things now”. Like a promotion, money for the wedding or for the married, food on the table, education for the kids and lots of money to spare. Sometimes it is all to make the woman know we care. So the less important things like the frequent calls, the “I love you”, the chocolate bars, the weekend outs and the opening of doors begin to vanish, then all too soon our beloved begins the dreaded “we have talk”.

I cannot exhaust the possibilities of what happens before or after the “he has changed” syndrome neither do I want to bore you with much talk , but there is one thing I believe is certain; the sweet lady agreed to your proposal because she believed the sweet little things you do will never end!

It is usual and ordinary to forget the little sweet things when she is yours now, by it is Extraordinary to maintain and upgrade your “sweetness”.

It is said that “a word to the wise is enough” so I will sum what I am trying to say in a few words.
“Ladies are obsessed with consistency that is why the cry out ‘he is changing’. When you want to start out with a lady, I think you should start at the level you can maintain not the level you can obtain, then when you occasionally operate at the level you can obtain you will never run out of the sweet little things that add sparkles to the life of the one you love”. Stay blessed fellow gentlemen.

Why the World Must Prosper!

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee (Ps 122:6).
Our lord Jesus Christ in his all-important prayer for his disciples and we those who now believe in him prayed “I pray not that thou should take them out of the world, but that thou should keep them from the evil one” (John 17:15). Living in this world even after we have been saved, means that we will be in continuous interaction with the world systems. Every happening in the world therefore has either direct or indirect bearing on our wellbeing, that of those we love and the success of all we do for man or God. And yet, the world is no lover of Christians!
When our well-being, that of those we love and the success of all we do for man or God is complete, then we are prosperous. Yet the systems that govern the earth which we together call the world is corrupted and is therefore not in the design to further prosperity of Christians. After all, if we define prosperity God’s way, then the world is in poverty, for like the Laodicean church in Revelations, the Lord says to the world, For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing; not knowing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked (Re 3:17,).
If we will deal with such a wretched system, it is bound to affect and limit the effectiveness and efficiency of our Christianity.

The preaching of the gospel in a warring nation
The evil rule of ungodly governments
The irresponsibility of selfish companies
And the suffering of the homeless across your street
The world we live in must prosper, but it must prosper God’s way,

Nations are at peace not by the unstable security the current systems offer,but the peace of God that surpasses understanding.
Nations are enlivened by the rule of righteous men (Pr 29:2)
Companies have a conscience as well as a counting house
Where no one is afraid to love a stranger
Pray the prayer in Psalm 122: 6-9, pray for the prosperity of God to plague the earth.
God bless you, and remember, I love to read your comments on this article.

Acts of Righteousness

Truth that is told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent – by Mehra & Mehra

Intentions are the invisible backbones of all we say and do, and when God is involved, then intentions are of utmost importance for the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1Sa 16:7)

How would you feel if your only child respects the opinion of your neighbour more than yours?

Well, I think that may be the very way that God feels when we value the opinions and rewards of men more than that of His.

Many of us live our lives by drawing our breath from the satisfaction we get from pleasing others or ourselves.  Sometimes, even our acts of righteousness such as worship, praise, giving and praying are done with intentions of pleasing men or ourselves rather than pleasing God. when Men see our outward deeds they may applaud us but to God these deeds become appalling. True Christian acts must have the glory of God as the focus. As such, God and his glory must be the primary focus of our acts of righteousness. The one you please by your deeds and words is the one who rewards your deeds or words. Who do you aim at pleasing, God, yourself or man? Whose rewards are you seeking, God, yourself or man?

Remember, in being an Extraordinary Gentleman, God’s perspective on every act and word is paramount,


Be careful not to display your righteousness merely to be seen by people. Otherwise you have no reward with your Father in heaven. 6:2 Thus whenever you do charitable giving, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in synagogues and on streets so that people will praise them. I tell you the truth, they have their reward. 6:3 But when you do your giving, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 6:4 so that your gift may be in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you.

(Matt 6:1-4, NET)