When men fall short

Today, I will like to share with you this message (link below) by TD Jakes and some key quotes from the message that I found interesting. Some of these quotes touch on the dilemma of being a man, especially in the 21st century and some possibly providing “answers” to some dilemmas. Enjoy

When Men Fall Short

“Has society set us up to fail?”

“How can I be a good man to a woman who enjoys being a good man?”

“When you pride yourself on doing what I used to do, have you not worked me out of a job?”

“You have moved into the positions we used to have and we don’t have a role to play and yet we are commanded to be on the set?”

Why do you need us?

cybercletch-do-you-need-our-services

“It’s hard to be a good man to a woman who never had a man in her life at all, because you have to live up to what she   imagined”

“There is not a good man in this room who is not trying to who you love, “there”…”

“…the dilemma of the man is;

if I manage to have progress, I do it by not being present, and if i am present with you, then I have to leave the horses and give up on progress…”

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The Extraordinary Father: A Character Study of God

It is a blessing to have you today as we turn our attention to the very important topic of fatherhood. In the past two weeks we had the privilege of featuring an article by one of the readers of this blog entitled the Extraordinary Husband: A Case for Adam (it is a must-read). We learnt husbandhood from the first husband, and today we are blessed to learn fatherhood from the first father. And hence the character study of God

Image source:resolvechurchconflict.com

Image source:resolvechurchconflict.com


The bible is decorated with scattered pieces of golden wisdom on fatherhood displayed by God to all his children and especially to his first born Jesus. In today’s discussion, we will attempt to unearth some of the wisdom for fatherhood embedded God’s disposition towards his children.

1. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5 RSV)

God acknowledges and bonds with us even before our birth. He sets us apart as his children and plans for our life. Being a great father begins with acknowledging the gift and power of procreation giving to us by God, knowing that we have children to be born to us and that we have a responsibility to guide them into the purpose of God for their life. This demands that we know our children before they are born to us, through prayer and supplication by faith and not assumption, opening our spirit to communion with God concerning our children and their purpose. This is not necessarily to come with clear directions, like the name of the child, the sex or school he or she should attend but this is to raise the your spiritual consciousness of and bonding with the coming child, to grant you prior spiritual insight and for your spirit to download important information about your child necessary for his or her unique nature.

2. For he received honour and glory from God the father when the voice came to him from the majestic glory, saying, “This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased” (2Pe 1:17, NIV)

Let your children and those around you know that you love them (your children). Do it in deeds and in words, yes especially in words. That even seems to be where God started with in public in relation to Jesus. He publicly declared his love for his Son. This gives your children an important sense of being valued. Your children need this in a world that may look down on them in many ways. The honour and glory they receive from the knowledge of being beloved is essential in building their self-esteem and confidence and also plays an important role in the choices and decisions they make in life. Love your children from birth and let them know in word and deed.

3. Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing; for whatever he does, that the Son does likewise. For the Father loves the Son, and shows him all that he himself is doing… (John 5:19-20, RSV).

Instruct your child in the way he or she should go, but giving an example is the most important way of teaching a child. For children, especially those who are confident of their father’s love for them, what daddy does is an important indication of what is acceptable now and in the future. Apart from being an indication of what is acceptable, the examples evident in your lifestyle are also important in shaping your child’s understanding or conceptualization of fatherhood and thus manhood in general. As James Robin says, a father’s blessing to a child is sometimes in word but always by example. What examples are you setting for your children?

image source: seekfirstjesus.blogspot.com

image source: seekfirstjesus.blogspot.com

4. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Mt 27:46, RSV)

God is repelled by sin in man and not even his beloved Son was an exception to this rule when he carried the sin of the world on the cross. Set the boundaries clearly at home, what can be done and what must not be done. Let your children understand the need and rationale for these rules at home and outside the boundaries of the home. Do not hesitate to punish disobedience, but punish disobedience because love demands it. Be sure to turn back to your child in love for him or her to understand that punishing him or her wasn’t a pleasure, but a sure way to lead him or her down the path of life. Let them be continually assured of your love.

5. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name which is above every name… (Philippians 2:8-9, RSV).

The child needs to feel a continual growth of you confidence in him or her. The best way to achieve this is through a conscious increase in the quantity but most importantly, quality of responsibilities you give him or her.

image source: wellthatsawesome.coom

image source: wellthatsawesome.coom

Additionally, some of these responsibilities especially those that are to raise the child into excellence must be rewarded and celebrated when accomplished well. If at first, he or she does not succeed, let them try again where possible. Failure in any of these tasks should not be treated as an end but a source of learning that should make the end better. Teach your children to learn from their mistakes and give them encouragement when the going gets tough. When Christ felt like “giving up” on the assignment His Father had given him (Gethsemane), the Father strengthened him, and when Jesus had accomplished the task, he rewarded him with a name that is above all names.

image source: webmd.com

image source: webmd.com

There are more of these in the word of God and as you spend more time studying your bible I pray that God will open your eyes to more truths of fatherhood and manhood as a whole. God bless you.